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The Calving Clock

The scene

You are a Knight of the Round Table — a Launcelot, a Galahad, a Sir Robin, perhaps King Arthur himself — and your quest, as you shall shortly declare, is to seek the Holy Grail. The road requires crossing the Gorge of Eternal Peril. The only way across is the Bridge of Death. There stands the Bridgekeeper, an old man with a staff, who will ask you three questions. Answer rightly, and he waves you past. Answer wrongly, and — into the gorge you will be thrown. Good luck.

At the bridge

“STOP! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.”

, Gorge of Eternal Peril.

1Question the first

What… is your name?

“

Answer

State your name.

2Question the second

What… is your quest?

“

Answer

I seek the Holy Grail of trading.

3Question the third

What… is the average number of American beef calves born every single minute of every single day, year-round?

The US beef cow herd stands at 28 million head. Each cow calves roughly once a year, and the industry averages an 85 percent annual calving rate. The result is a steady biological pipeline running around the clock, through nights and holidays, through blizzards and heat waves. The Bridgekeeper, holding a stopwatch, asks what the per-minute rate is.

Select one of the five answers below. Choose carefully, and accept your fate.