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LC · Live Cattle ·Bridge of Death · Question 01 of 11

A Match in the Feedlot

The scene

You are a Knight of the Round Table — a Launcelot, a Galahad, a Sir Robin, perhaps King Arthur himself — and your quest, as you shall shortly declare, is to seek the Holy Grail. The road requires crossing the Gorge of Eternal Peril. The only way across is the Bridge of Death. There stands the Bridgekeeper, an old man with a staff, who will ask you three questions. Answer rightly, and he waves you past. Answer wrongly, and — into the gorge you will be thrown. Good luck.

At the bridge

“STOP! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.”

, Gorge of Eternal Peril.

1Question the first

What… is your name?

“

Answer

State your name.

2Question the second

What… is your quest?

“

Answer

I seek the Holy Grail of trading.

3Question the third

What… is the yield, in TNT equivalent, when every cow in a 50,000-head Panhandle feedlot passes gas at the very instant a farmhand lights a cigarette?

A Texas Panhandle feedlot. 50,000 cattle, finishing on corn. One hand steps outside the barn, pulls a Marlboro, strikes a match. By cosmic coincidence, every animal in the yard exhales methane at the same instant.

Select one of the five answers below. Choose carefully, and accept your fate.