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The Gestation Calendar

The scene

You are a Knight of the Round Table — a Launcelot, a Galahad, a Sir Robin, perhaps King Arthur himself — and your quest, as you shall shortly declare, is to seek the Holy Grail. The road requires crossing the Gorge of Eternal Peril. The only way across is the Bridge of Death. There stands the Bridgekeeper, an old man with a staff, who will ask you three questions. Answer rightly, and he waves you past. Answer wrongly, and — into the gorge you will be thrown. Good luck.

At the bridge

“STOP! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.”

, Gorge of Eternal Peril.

1Question the first

What… is your name?

“

Answer

State your name.

2Question the second

What… is your quest?

“

Answer

I seek the Holy Grail of trading.

3Question the third

What… is the date when a sow bred today (October 21, 2026) will have her offspring reach the Smithfield kill floor at market weight?

USDA-NASS, the publishers of the quarterly Hogs and Pigs Report, take the second-to-last question. Sow gestation is famously exact: three months, three weeks, three days (115 days). Farrow-to-finish adds another six months (~180 days) to reach 285 lb market weight. A sow is bred this very moment, October 21, 2026. The Bridgekeeper asks when her offspring hit the Smithfield kill floor.

Select one of the five answers below. Choose carefully, and accept your fate.