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LH · Lean Hogs ·Bridge of Death · Question 06 of 11

The Manure Firehose

The scene

You are a Knight of the Round Table — a Launcelot, a Galahad, a Sir Robin, perhaps King Arthur himself — and your quest, as you shall shortly declare, is to seek the Holy Grail. The road requires crossing the Gorge of Eternal Peril. The only way across is the Bridge of Death. There stands the Bridgekeeper, an old man with a staff, who will ask you three questions. Answer rightly, and he waves you past. Answer wrongly, and — into the gorge you will be thrown. Good luck.

At the bridge

“STOP! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.”

, Gorge of Eternal Peril.

1Question the first

What… is your name?

“

Answer

State your name.

2Question the second

What… is your quest?

“

Answer

I seek the Holy Grail of trading.

3Question the third

What… is the number of Olympic-sized swimming pools of pig manure that Iowa’s hog herd produces every single day?

The Iowa Department of Natural Resources, the regulator that writes the Master Matrix rulebook on hog operations, takes the mic. An adult market hog produces about 1.1 gallons of manure slurry per day. Iowa raises 24.5 million of them. The Bridgekeeper, with a splash guard raised and the regulator’s clipboard in hand, asks what the daily total looks like, measured in Olympic swimming pools.

Select one of the five answers below. Choose carefully, and accept your fate.